6/12/17

I’ve pulled out the monster beneath my bed,
Sit beside me, I said.
I look at him in the eye
I let him untangle the knots I carefully tied
My heart beats frantically with every tug of my strings
My fear is rising
I look away, I fight the urge to run
All my life, that’s all I’ve done
Now is not the time, not when his breath is in my ear
And his voice is all I hear,
Not when his eyes melt me into pools at his feet
I fight the urge to cry and to be weak
My hands tremble anyway
Was it a mistake?
Should I run now? Should I shout for help?

Motherhood

I don’t want to be the mother,
Of an unwanted daughter;
I never want to hurt her,
Or blame her for why I suffer.

I don’t want to sacrifice,
And ask her for the same price,
I don’t want to be remembered,
As the mother who dismembered,
her own child.

I don’t want to make her cry,
Not even a little sigh;
I don’t want her to be alone,
Like garbage, thrown.

I want her to find love,
Because I found none;
I want her to remember me,
Because I love her dearly.

If I can’t do all this and more
Then please God help me,
stop it all before,
I become the mother,
of an unwanted daughter.

Junction

Whenever my name escapes your lips, you make it sound so sweet
Like I’m the only one out there when there are millions with the same name everywhere
Your fingers brush my skin, you make it feel like I was struck by lightning
Electric currents rush through my veins, when all you did was brush hair off my face
And when I look at you my heart forgets to beat, you make it so hard to breathe
You voice is the sweetest melody in my ear as you shush my every fear
Every scar is forgotten and I am reborn again in heaven.

You make me smile in my sleep, even when you’re miles away from me
Every day, every moment, is a journey across the world to you
Every day, every moment, is a promise to you
That one day I can sleep right beside you
That one day I can make you happy the same way you do
Until that one day, we’ve both made it through.

For now, I watch as our love grows and blossoms; multiplies and doubles
I watch the world rotate on its axis, while our love remains timeless
I watch rain fall above our heads, and smile because we know it ends
I watch you from a distance and yet my heart lays right in your hands
In the meantime I’ll live without a heart while we are apart
But never for once think my love will ever be lost.

I might forget every now and then, about all the promises I made inside my head
Some days are hard with you gone, and there’s nothing to hang-on
I still believe in you and me, and that one day it all will be
We’ve gone so far, following the stars
One day we’ll walk the same path, as if we were never apart.

Endeavor

Just wait and see,

Tomorrow will be better,

Patience is key,

Hold on a little longer.

Breathe and let go;

Release water from the dams,

Let the snow thaw,

From the warmth of both your hands.

I Dare Say

To fear is to be smart,
To feel is to be foolish,
To climb a castle’s stony rampart,
I humbly admonish.

What is bravery,
If not reckless?
An act of sheer folly,
Dare I be so careless?

Would I dare climb only to fall?
Would I dare love only to hurt?
A mere sweet for a tussle,
And dirt on my skirt?

To dare is to die,
To think is to live,
Feel free to show a smile full of wry,
For logic is too elusive.

 

I love prompts!

Daring

Burnt Bridges

The only way to cross from here to there,
Has been burnt and lost,
There’s no way across,
We’re both too aware.

Perhaps you’d dare to swim,
Through cold waters,
Tell me, would you really bother
Only to be gone so swift?

Don’t cross the imaginary bridge,
Stay where you are,
Stay very far,
I can very well manage.

Remember you held the torch,
While I watched the bridge burn,
Never a way to return,
What is now just marks of scorch.

I’ll Stop Writing When My Heart Stops Beating

I fear for the day, I’d be forced to stop writing poetry. When my life becomes too bland and too much like everyone else’s that I wouldn’t know what to write about, or perhaps I’ll be too tired from work and there won’t be any room for creativity or inspiration or hope, or even a room to be me.

I wouldn’t want that day to come. But as life would permit it, I see it right around the corner, waiting to pounce. That will be a dreadful day and I’d much rather die than stop writing poems that are gasps of air I breathe every now and then.

The path that I am walking is getting a whole lot narrow with every day that passes by. There is little hope and little inspiration to spare, let alone to share. Perhaps in the next five years, I’ve lose my touch and words won’t obey my commands. I’ll be lost in my own mind, trapped and maybe even gone. But I feel better when I think about all the poems I wrote. When the time comes I leave this world, and someone misses me or even thinks of me –they’ll have my poems. Pieces of me I left behind for when they come and look for me, for when they realize I’m not the person they thought I was. And maybe they’ll be surprised by how my mind works in such a dark, maybe even scary way. And I start to wonder if they’ll take the time to decipher what I meant, how I felt, and who I dedicate my poems full of all my heartaches.