6/12/17

I’ve pulled out the monster beneath my bed,
Sit beside me, I said.
I look at him in the eye
I let him untangle the knots I carefully tied
My heart beats frantically with every tug of my strings
My fear is rising
I look away, I fight the urge to run
All my life, that’s all I’ve done
Now is not the time, not when his breath is in my ear
And his voice is all I hear,
Not when his eyes melt me into pools at his feet
I fight the urge to cry and to be weak
My hands tremble anyway
Was it a mistake?
Should I run now? Should I shout for help?

Motherhood

I don’t want to be the mother,
Of an unwanted daughter;
I never want to hurt her,
Or blame her for why I suffer.

I don’t want to sacrifice,
And ask her for the same price,
I don’t want to be remembered,
As the mother who dismembered,
her own child.

I don’t want to make her cry,
Not even a little sigh;
I don’t want her to be alone,
Like garbage, thrown.

I want her to find love,
Because I found none;
I want her to remember me,
Because I love her dearly.

If I can’t do all this and more
Then please God help me,
stop it all before,
I become the mother,
of an unwanted daughter.

Junction

Whenever my name escapes your lips, you make it sound so sweet
Like I’m the only one out there when there are millions with the same name everywhere
Your fingers brush my skin, you make it feel like I was struck by lightning
Electric currents rush through my veins, when all you did was brush hair off my face
And when I look at you my heart forgets to beat, you make it so hard to breathe
You voice is the sweetest melody in my ear as you shush my every fear
Every scar is forgotten and I am reborn again in heaven.

You make me smile in my sleep, even when you’re miles away from me
Every day, every moment, is a journey across the world to you
Every day, every moment, is a promise to you
That one day I can sleep right beside you
That one day I can make you happy the same way you do
Until that one day, we’ve both made it through.

For now, I watch as our love grows and blossoms; multiplies and doubles
I watch the world rotate on its axis, while our love remains timeless
I watch rain fall above our heads, and smile because we know it ends
I watch you from a distance and yet my heart lays right in your hands
In the meantime I’ll live without a heart while we are apart
But never for once think my love will ever be lost.

I might forget every now and then, about all the promises I made inside my head
Some days are hard with you gone, and there’s nothing to hang-on
I still believe in you and me, and that one day it all will be
We’ve gone so far, following the stars
One day we’ll walk the same path, as if we were never apart.

Endeavor

Just wait and see,

Tomorrow will be better,

Patience is key,

Hold on a little longer.

Breathe and let go;

Release water from the dams,

Let the snow thaw,

From the warmth of both your hands.

Lost Boy

He stood right in the middle of the rain
Letting drops of water find its way
Inside his clothes and on his hair
Refusing to stop anywhere.

 

The heavens wept with loathing
And he stood still, hoping
It would stop raining
But the heavens just kept sobbing.

 

With all I could, I called out his name
While on the sidelines, I patiently wait
But he never looked at me the same way
He used to when it didn’t rain.

 

He closed his eyes and pretended not to hear me
He titled his face up and got lost in a world I couldn’t see
And all I could do was watch him disappear,

To somewhere I could never reach him.

 

I can’t do anything to make the rain stop, so my name wasn’t called and I was cast out.