Strength and Audacity

I never thought I had the strength, nor the audacity. But today I got up on my feet, looked him in the eye and said what I wanted to say. It felt so good. It felt exhilarating. I was fueled by anger and disappointment, all the pent up emotions just burst and spilt on the floor. I lost all control. And yet I regret nothing of the things I said. I didn’t say anything wrong, I stated the truth. I stated what I thought was right, and what I know was wrong. In all, it was a success. I feel better after an argument.

Now if only I was this way with everything else –bold, courageous, reckless and of course even ignorant. I’m quite tired of people walking all over me and me letting them. I’ve had enough of lies and fake smiles. I want to let everyone know I’m not okay. I want everyone to listen to me because I don’t speak my mind as often as I should.

I’m hurt. I’m in pain –terrible, undeniable, inevitable pain. I don’t need sympathy and pity from any of you. What I need is respect, and for people to give me what I rightfully deserve. I keep giving people the best, while they keep giving me the worst. This world is unfair, and every day I still learn to keep expecting the worst, and avoiding hope.

I made yet another mistake of forgiving yet again. But this time I didn’t turn a blind eye, instead I let you hear my voice and let you watch me die, writhe in pain because this is what you do to me every day.

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