I Love Pain

I listen to sad songs when I’m already sad. I let it consume me and bounce on my every wall –reverberating the sadness until I don’t feel it anymore. I close my eyes and let myself get used to the pain, slowly going numb after holding on cold ice. My skin turning pale, my throat going dry, until there no more tears in my eyes.

That’s how I cope. I write about my sadness and get used to the dark. I let my eyes adjust after waiting awhile. Soon I’ll navigate in complete total darkness, and find my way, not to bright place, but to an even deeper, darker alcove.

I pull on my heartstrings, and strum a melancholy tune. No one can hear me in here. The world continues to rotate and revolve, the plants continue to grow. I don’t yearn for light anymore. I’ve learned to love the darkness like everything else I’ve learned to love. I’ve learned to love pain, and I even beckon it to me.

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